Kill bad habits [4]: listening, listening versus talking, talking
Please read “Kill bad habits” before starting to read this post.
Excerpt from the post “Kill bad habits”:
[4] Talking too much without asking questions
and paying too little attention (or zero attention)
to others.
Big talkers are most of the time terribly painful. You try to be polite – you cannot interrupt them abruptly telling them they are boring. But they are. Sure, you have experienced this many times.
I recently met a Swiss business owner who was interested in my communication skills and know-how transfer techniques. We had a business breakfast and I had to listen to him ramble on non-stop for half an hour. I couldn’t inject more than a few short sentences. At the end, he asked me how we could work together. Without letting me open my mouth to say anything, he added: “No, you’re not interested.” He was right. A big talker. A poor listener. But, after all not such a bad attitude reader!
One of my first drawings (not the best one…), as illustrated in my eBook ◊“Towards Profitable Growth”◊
Let’s summarize a few fundamentals:
1. People who talk too much are poor listeners. They are unable to learn from others. Their communication is one-way, meaning that their message doesn’t get across so they cannot evaluate how to adapt their content.
2. Ever experienced a supplier or simply someone who reports to you, who didn’t listen carefully to your requirements or expectations? He/she comes up with a proposal or a report that reveals very little follow-through on your input. This hurts relationships and makes work inefficient.
3. Putting pressure on others shows that a person doesn’t recognize his/her poor listening skills. They can become aggressive and demanding, and are determined not to change their bad habits.
→ Think a minute and rate yourself on these attitudes. Print this page and write down your rating.
Are you like the Swiss business owner?
Never been?
Are you a good listener?
100% sure?
Do you pay attention to others while talking to them?
Really?
Do you systematically interact with others?
You said: “Yes, systematically”?
When you notice that you didn’t pay enough attention, do you stay cool?
I mean, really cool?
Done? Now how about asking a co-worker, a friend, or your partner if your rating is correct? You might be surprised…
Thanks for reading this post.
P.S.: specific articles on specific communication skills in business presentations ◊here◊.
© Nick Paulus, 2008
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